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Apr 22

Written By Lauren Buscemi

Tribute to Can

(??? - 4/15/26)

My trash can disappeared. I last saw it on Wednesday, curbed with the other cans. I assumed it was happy.

On Thursday, no can!

There was a can, but not my can. My can is rectangular, this can was round. I thought maybe this can had traded places with my can. Like a foreign exchange program for cans.

So I wondered…. Should I adopt this can?

What if my can returns and sees I replaced it with another can? Would that upset my can?

It’s very clear what one is to do when life gives lemons, but what is one to do when life takes your can and gives another can?

What if my can suddenly wanted to be a round can and went through the trouble of plastic can surgery just to become the best can my can can conceive it can be.

I also considered that maybe my can was hiding inside of this can…. But I know my can and my can wouldn’t do that.

I needed time to decide.

So I left the can in place. I was a little worried about leaving a lone can curbed on a non trash night. But I also thought it wrong to assume responsibility of a can I can not prove to be mine.

I wanted to sleep on it. But then I had a dream of cannibals kidnapping and eating my can! I can’t even have a dream without my can. I figured that behind every great man must be a great can. I started to wonder about Martin Luther King Jr.’s can, with such great dreams he must have had an even greater can!

The next day, no can! Not even a replacement can for the replacement can, just no can!

I stood on the curb and wondered…. Is it possible I am a victim of a can scam?

Am I now responsible for aiding and abetting in the kidnapping of not one but two cans?!

Is this can now with my can? Would this can tell my can that I noticed it was gone? That I looked for it? That I am troubled in its absence? Or would it say I was ungrateful and refused its offering of the round can?

Perhaps my can enlisted this can to see if I would fall pray to the temptation of a new can… but my can knows me better than that.

It has been 4 days, 21 hours, and 24 mins with no can.

Since I can’t find my can, and I can’t replace my can. Maybe I can canonize my can?

My can can be the patron saint of cans. Then it wouldn’t be so bad to be without a can. I would be without a can but my can wouldn’t be without a cause.

I bet it is better to be without can than without cause. James Dean was a rebel without a cause. If he was a rebel without a can perhaps things would have turned out very differently.

Perhaps my can went to Hollywood to audition for a can-can commercial. I worried if my can would be disappointed when it found out it is not that type of can. I hoped that the can-can girls would be nice to my can. Or perhaps I am greatly underestimating my can and my can can can-can better than any other can can…

I can’t can my hopes of reuniting with my can.

If only I knew my can would never can for me again, there’s so much more trash I would have given it…

Lauren Buscemi

🚮

Tribute to Can

(??? - 4/15/26)

My trash can disappeared. I last saw it on Wednesday, curbed with the other cans. I assumed it was happy.

On Thursday, no can!

There was a can, but not my can. My can is rectangular, this can was round. I thought maybe this can had traded places with my can. Like a foreign exchange program for cans.

So I wondered…. Should I adopt this can?

What if my can returns and sees I replaced it with another can? Would that upset my can?

It’s very clear what one is to do when life gives lemons, but what is one to do when life takes your can and gives another can?

What if my can suddenly wanted to be a round can and went through the trouble of plastic can surgery just to become the best can my can can conceive it can be.

I also considered that maybe my can was hiding inside of this can…. But I know my can and my can wouldn’t do that.

I needed time to decide.

So I left the can in place. I was a little worried about leaving a lone can curbed on a non trash night. But I also thought it wrong to assume responsibility of a can I can not prove to be mine.

The next day, no can! Not even a replacement can for the replacement can, just no can!

I stood on the curb and wondered…. Is it possible I am a victim of a can scam?

Am I now responsible for aiding and abetting in the kidnapping of not one but two cans?!

Is this can now with my can? Would this can tell my can that I noticed it was gone? That I looked for it? That I am troubled in its absence? Or would it say I was ungrateful and refused its offering of the round can?

Perhaps my can enlisted this can to see if I would fall pray to the temptation of a new can… but my can knows me better than that.

It has been 4 days, 21 hours, and 24 mins with no can.

Since I can’t find my can, and I can’t replace my can. Maybe I can canonize my can?

My can can be the patron saint of cans. Then it wouldn’t be so bad to be without a can. I would be without a can but my can wouldn’t be without a cause.

I bet it is better to be without can than without cause. James Dean was a rebel without a cause. If he was a rebel without a can perhaps things would have turned out very differently.

I can’t can my hopes of reuniting with my can.

If only I knew my can would never can for me again, there’s so much more trash I would have given it…

i used to ask God to send me a sign, now i only ask for strength